Weekend Coffee Share…in a New Home!



Please note: When adding your link to the link up, you’ll be looking for the image of a coffee bean heart with the words “Add Your Link Here.” I’m not a fan of the frog image, so I switch things up a bit. 😉



Good morning, my wonderful coffee friends, old and new! I’m super excited to have you here today…this is, after all, my first official hosting of the Weekend Coffee Share. 🙂 Come in, come in! Cozy up on the couch and let the dinosaurs bring you some of their famously delicious coffee. (Not a coffee drinker? The dinosaurs may give you the side-eye, but they will bring you some water or tea, if you’d like.) 😉


The dinosaurs have also made some rosemary and cheddar scones for us to nibble. Alas, life got a little crazy this week, and they haven’t had time to type up the recipe for you, but they promise to have that ready for you in the next couple of weeks.


In fact, the dinosaurs, who usually get all of their Coffee Share ducks in a row on Fridays, didn’t have time to take care of much at all yesterday. They also wanted to get some kitchen science fun ready for you, but our day got messed up beyond repair, so everything got put on hold. (More on the messed up day in a bit…I’m not going to put that out there and just leave you wondering what happened…what sort of host would I be???)


Okay, is everyone snuggled in with all of the refreshments that they need? Great! Because I have so much I want to share with you this week, but I do have a bit of a warning. My Coffee Share posts are generally pretty light and fluffy…with lots of emphasis on what I’m playing and reading and blogging…and what my family’s up to (because it’s always something). This week, however, I have some seriously un-light and un-fluffy thoughts whiz-banging around my head, and I’m going to share them with you.


If talk of school violence is a trigger for you, you should probably not scroll below the little white fence breaker image below this section. Because of that, I’m going to put a link up button up here (normally there will only be one at the bottom of the post), so you don’t have to be subjected to the rest of this post, but still have the freedom to join the link up. 🙂




School violence? Yes and no. Earlier this week, a student at Grace’s school used social media to threaten to “shoot up the school on Friday.” Fortunately someone reported the social media posts (thank you ever so much to that mystery person!), and there was an investigation that led to the student being arrested.


But…then he was released.


Before school on Friday.


Well, rumors were flying around from kid to kid in a most impressive and stellar fashion. (Not shocking, right?) We didn’t even catch wind of this whole situation until pretty late on Thursday night.


Grace was scared to go to school yesterday, so we didn’t make her. At this point, we had zero confirmed information about any of this (we didn’t know that the student had been arrested or that the school was doing anything to keep the kids safe…more on that in a bit), and we felt like erring on the side of safety and Grace’s not spending a day in debilitating fear was the way to go. It turns out we were in pretty good company…we’ll just say that attendance was abysmal at Grace’s school yesterday.


Though I agreed without hesitation to Grace missing school on Friday (is that ever something you really want to gamble with), I felt like this must all be out of hand rumors. Another school in our area had a well-publicized (and beautifully handled) shooting threat for Friday, and I thought this must be rumors running wild from that news story. After all, I hadn’t heard anything from the school. When I checked the local news sites and Twitter feeds, there was no mention of this threat. It must just be kids being dramatic, right?


Well, it was pretty late at this point, so we had a talk with Grace about not adding to the rumors…about the shooting threat or about this kid who quite possibly had done absolutely nothing as far as we knew. We reminded her that our words are powerful and should be used carefully. We had our usual night-night hugs, Grace went to bed, and I checked the news one more time. Absolutely no information. I truly thought this was some sort of teenager drama that would die down.


When the morning rolled around, I decided to text some of the other PTSO moms to see if they had heard anything about this. Guess what?!? It was all bloomin’ true. The kid had been arrested, but the police had released him. The shooting threat was absolutely true. The school had suspended the student, but he was absolutely roaming free. Extra police officers had been brought into the school for security.


Now, let me tell you something about the school Grace goes to…it’s a magnet school for arts and technology, and it is one of the most loving, accepting, non-threatening environments I have ever encountered. This place makes most Kindergarten classrooms feel like battle zones or something. These kids don’t do racism or classism or homophobia or transphobia or any of the hate-fueled isms or phobias…instead they write plays about the importance of not perpetuating isms and phobias. The walls of the school are covered with art and poems and posters about respecting each other and themselves. It’s really a pretty amazing place. (And this isn’t based on one of those “30-second staged glimpses for the parents” that schools sometimes do…as a very active member of the Performing Arts Committee, I’m at that school a lot, and this is the way it truly is.)


Given the beautiful environment of the school, this shooting threat was really quite a shock.


But even more shocking? The school did not utter a word to parents about this threat. Not. A. Word.


Back to that text conversation with the other PTSO parents. Around 8:15 (the time Grace and I would normally be hopping in the car to go to school), a news story about the incident finally broke…some of the parents saw it and shared the info.


Still no word from the school.


School starts at 8:50.


At 9:07, the school finally called…with a lip service message that was vague and skipped over some pretty important information.


I was furious.


Have you ever been so bloomin’ mad that you wrapped back around to calm and composed? That’s where my brain was.


I’m not a terribly cynical human, but I couldn’t help wondering if that message from the school only happened because the story hit the news, so the school couldn’t keep it under wraps anymore. I mean, it was interesting that we didn’t hear a peep until after the story was released.


And now I’m also wondering what else goes on at that school that they don’t feel the need to share with parents? Possibly nothing at all, but the trust evaporated in an instant.


While I’m not a cynical human, I’m also not a “sit back and do nothing” type person, so I composed a firm (but polite) email to the superintendent of our school system. It took a couple of hours, but I actually heard back from him by way of phone call. Imagine how surprised I was to hear that the superintendent’s office had also been unaware of the situation until it made it to the news. The tension in the voice was definitely clear. I was assured that there would be meetings and discussion of procedures and blah, blah, blah. I really wish I had been invited to one of those meetings, but that’s not how things are handled. Needless to say, I’ll be sending some follow up emails next week. (Also, how obnoxious am I to go straight to the tippy-top of the school system with my rant?) 😉


Ultimately, no one was physically injured, and that’s great. But a tremendous lot of damage was done. I no longer have faith in the administration of the school, the community is disgusted with how the school (didn’t) handle things, and, most importantly, kids who felt safe and secure just last Thursday have had that security taken away from them…all because the school didn’t communicate openly and honestly about a potentially life-threatening situation. All of us, parents and students, were left to make choices based on rumors and speculation, and that is unacceptable.


We’ve also had no word at all about what happens after this student returns to school. We know that he was suspended, but suspensions are temporary. How will us parent-types know that our kids are safe? Just one more bit of info that the school has chosen not to share.


Can you tell that I’m still pretty riled? What about you? Have you had to go through a similar situation as a parent or student? How did the school handle it? As a parent, how would you have handled a complete lack of information coming from the school until it was too late to make an informed decision about attendance? Tell me your thoughts!



Okay, this post has gotten rather lengthy, so I’m going to skip all of the other babble I normally do. I do apologize for the serious nature of this post, but my brain will not be diverted from this topic at the moment. (I think that’s pretty understandable, no?) If you come back next week (please say you will!), it’s almost guaranteed that things will be back to silly and nerdy around here. 🙂


And now it’s time for you to show me (and the rest of the Coffee Share crew) yours!



I really look forward to having coffee with you this weekend! 😀


And until we chat again, I hope you have an amazing week full of love and hugs and giggles and learning and fun! ♥




  • carolaadamsrnbc February 18, 2017 at 8:44 am

    What a traumatic experience! I am sorry Grace and you had to expeeience that. Hopefully communication will improve as a result of this experience.

    • Nerd in the Brain February 18, 2017 at 8:55 am

      I sure hope so. Obviously, the best case scenario is there would never be another threat of violence for the school to communicate about….but if there is, I sure hope they do a better job of it!

      I can’t even imagine how freaked out I would have been if I had already dropped Grace off at school before I learned about the situation. Yikes!

  • carolaadamsrnbc February 18, 2017 at 8:46 am

    Experience. Crazy phone!

  • If We Were Having Coffee on the 18th of February | Trent's World (the Blog) February 18, 2017 at 9:09 am

    […] first time it will be hosted by Nerd in the Brain).  Thank you Emily!  You can join this week’s Coffee Share on her blog or by clicking on the “Linkup Linky“.  In fact, I encourage you to click on the […]

  • trentpmcd February 18, 2017 at 9:24 am

    What a post to start your hosting stewardship! Anyway, I agree with you 100%. I think you do have a right to be upset with the school over this. It is so important to communicate, it just seems amazing that they didn’t. At all. In this day and age, in particular, where school shootings seem to be a monthly event.

    I hope they got the point about communication. The school sounds so wonderful it that it would be a tragedy to destroy it by their unwillingness to talk to parents and students about uncomfortable issues. Although nobody was hurt, in someways the kid would have won with his threat unless they act quick to rectify it.

    Anyway, thanks for taking up the Coffee Share! I know you will be wonderful host. have a great week!

    • Nerd in the Brain February 18, 2017 at 12:51 pm

      I sort of hated to start off my hosting with this post, but it just seemed wrong not to share what was really knocking around in my noggin. 😉 I hope it doesn’t drive people away or anything!

      It absolutely is a wonderful school with a culture of respect and love, and I’m with you…I would hate to see that wrecked up by some goofy grown ups who are more concerned about the school’s image than the students’ safety. (I truly believe the school’s “image” was behind the choice not to inform parents of what was happening…and I really wonder if we would have ever heard anything had the news not caught wind of it.) And you’re right about the kid, too! He totally has the satisfaction of knowing he created chaos and fear and anger…a lot of that chaos and fear and anger could have been so easily avoided if the administration had been forthcoming. Other than making sure I send some follow up emails, I’m trying to make my brain calm down about the whole matter, but it doesn’t seem to be working 100% of the time. 😉

      Thank you so much for being one of the first to join the Weekend Coffee Share in its new home! Have a wonderful and safe week!

  • Kathleen Howell February 18, 2017 at 9:59 am

    How scary and downright infuriating. I hope there is a resolution. 🙁 Thanks again for hosting. And thank you for mentioning scones, I have a great recipe tucked away somewhere.. 🙂

    • Nerd in the Brain February 18, 2017 at 12:52 pm

      Scary and infuriating captures it perfectly! I hope some policies get changed…and that we never have reason to test those new policies.

      Mmmmmmm, scones. You should totally go make some. 🙂 (Ours seem to have disappeared somehow. Who could have possibly done that???) 😉

  • pamelascanepa February 18, 2017 at 11:01 am

    A shooting threat? How horrible! We have a few schools in our district that had bomb threats in the last month or so. I also teach at a Middle School, and I understand your horror. I do hope it gets better. Nice to meet you, by the way. I was directed here from Trent’s post. I love the Weekend Coffee Share!

    • Nerd in the Brain February 18, 2017 at 12:56 pm

      Nice to meet you, too! I’m so glad you’ve joined us! 🙂

      I also used to teach middle school, and we only ever had a scary lock down situation one time…and we were giving information to parents immediately.

      I hope they’ve found your bomb threat culprit! Even if they have no intention of blowing anything up, it just causes so much fear and panic and chaos…no good at all. 🙁

  • Dale February 18, 2017 at 11:27 am

    I am so sorry you and your family (and all the school kids and families) had to go through such a horrible experience. I loathe that you even have to worry about school shootings, in the first place. They are very few and far between here in Canada, thankfully, and I shake my head every time I read about yet another one in the States.

    On a lighter note, thank you for taking up the Coffee Share! I was looking for the Blue Froggie then realised, d’oh, your link-up invite was way bigger than the froggie! I shall be joining shortly. As soon as I get my thoughts back in order.

    • Nerd in the Brain February 18, 2017 at 12:59 pm

      It is an absolutely dreadful reality that we have to worry about such things. School shootings happen with enough frequency here that the threat of one just practically makes your heart stop. I’m so glad Canada doesn’t share the problem!

      And thank you so much for visiting Weekend Coffee Share in its new home! Sorry about the frog mix up…I don’t know why, but I always have to do my “own thing” instead of just using the graphic that everyone is used to. 😉

      • Dale February 18, 2017 at 1:02 pm

        No, No, not a frog mix-up! An assumption by me (and you know what happens when one assumes…). So very glad you do your own thing! Never stop being you!

  • Rosemary Carlson February 18, 2017 at 12:58 pm

    Please tell me where the link up (blue frog) is????

    • Nerd in the Brain February 18, 2017 at 1:01 pm

      Hi! It’s the picture of the coffee bean heart that says, “Add Your Link Here.” (I use a different image than the frog.) 😉 A couple of people have mentioned that they couldn’t find the frog, so I think I’m going to go in and note the different image. Have a great weekend!

  • Diana February 18, 2017 at 2:01 pm

    Oh my gosh, what a day!

    I went to a pretty rough high school, and I can remember something like this happening once. It was really scary and really infurating–hope you guys are recuperating well.

    • Nerd in the Brain February 18, 2017 at 2:37 pm

      It really was quite a day…lots of texting and calling and emailing…and then there was the news reading and social media watching…and I still don’t have the full story. I guess I don’t need the full story though. I just need to know that Grace (and her classmates) are safe at school.

      I also went to a high school that tended toward the rough. (We had more individual incidents, including a fatal shooting, than I care to count.) I seem to have graduated before school shootings became a “thing” though. (The shooting that happened was an individual bringing a gun to a fight…not a random, mass type situation.) We had several “bomb threats,” but those were more about knuckleheads trying to get out of class than anything else. I don’t remember any situation in high school that made me afraid of random kids. I hate that you had to go through that. 🙁 And I hate that it’s still happening now. *sigh*

  • Weekend Coffee Share: Boys vs. Men | Just Add Tea February 18, 2017 at 2:17 pm

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  • Robin February 18, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    Thank you for taking over the hosting of the coffee share. 🙂 I have to agree with you completely about not trusting the school administration after something like that. I, too, would wonder what else they haven’t told me (as a parent). After reading your description of the school, maybe they just didn’t know how to handle it?

    • Nerd in the Brain February 18, 2017 at 2:49 pm

      You know, you may have a point about them not knowing how to handle things…I doubt they’ve ever had to contend with anything like that before. It does seem that there would be some sort of “standard procedure” for all of the schools in the district or something though. (If there wasn’t one before, I bet there will be soon.) Honestly, it seems like the biggest concerns they usually have are kids singing too loud in the halls or someone’s robot making a break for it. It’s a strange and wonderful school. 😉 Even so, it does seem that a trained principal would know to try to limit the panic in parents and students.

      Thank you so much for joining us for coffee! I hope you have a wonderful week! 😀

  • Elizabeth February 18, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    As a teacher who left a school because they didn’t handle threats properly, I can understand your frustration. My current district immediately sends out an email and Twitter message whenever there’s a rumor like that going around so that parents know what is real and what is false. My last school (in a different district), however, did not. We had a race riot that put the school in lock down mode while the police showed up and kids (and a parent or two) were arrested, and the news reported a gun, but the school insisted there wasn’t one. One of my students was there when things got started and said there was indeed a gun. So the school even lied to us, the teachers, about it! Now you know why I don’t teach there anymore…

    Thanks for sharing, and thanks for hosting the Coffee Share! I look forward to many more comfy coffee chats with you!

    • Nerd in the Brain February 19, 2017 at 6:29 am

      I’m so glad you’re teaching in a district that handles things better! I think it’s great that they provide information when there are rumors. (Hopefully, we’ll have some policy changes around here, and things will start being handled that way!)

      Thanks for joining in the Coffee Share fun! 😀

  • Lauren Elizabeth Walsburg February 18, 2017 at 7:35 pm

    That’s terrible, I’m happy that everyone is okay though. We don’t have these kind of threats in Australia, only in very rare cases, so it always shocks me when I hear of these issues happening. I hope next week is better for you and I hope Grace is feeling okay.

    • Nerd in the Brain February 19, 2017 at 6:39 am

      Yes, I’m trying to focus on being happy that everyone is okay…it helps me to not be so angry at the school. 🙂 (I’m so, so happy that you don’t have to deal with these things in Australia!)

      I think Grace will be fine. She was scared and didn’t want to go to school on Friday, but she’s not uncomfortable about going back tomorrow, so that’s good. 🙂

  • shanjeniah February 18, 2017 at 8:21 pm

    I am sending many hugs to you. Each time an incident like this happens, I am grateful we’re able to homeschool. I would probably be as disturbed as you are by the events you and Grace – and all the other families – lived through.

    I’m glad you listened to her, and allowed her to remain home. Even without an incident, knowing she can count on you to take her concerns seriously is valuable!

    I hope this is a catalyst for better school-home communications, and also that it’s the last incident (anywhere, ever!).

    Thank you for hosting #weekendcoffeeshare, Emily! I’m looking forward to getting to know you much better over the coming weeks!

    • Nerd in the Brain February 19, 2017 at 6:46 am

      I homeschooled Grace for four years before she went to this school (her music talent was very quickly outpacing my ability to provide resources for her in that area, so we thought an art school was in order…for the most part, we were right), and I remember being grateful to not even have to worry about so many issues that can come up at school…bullying, violence, sexism, etc. Now I’m grateful for the resources and fabulous teachers and warm environment of her school, but back to worrying about all of that other stuff. *sigh*

      Like you, I hope this incident brings about some change…I’d love to see some bit of positive come out of the whole thing.

      Thanks for visiting! (I promise my posts usually aren’t nearly so serious!) 😉

      • shanjeniah February 19, 2017 at 10:13 am

        I’ve been fortunate that neither of my children have wanted to go to school. My son will be 16 in September; he should finish his state high school requirements right around that point. He’s big into technology, ethics, laws, mythology, entrepreneurship, and research (which means he’s great at finding resources). My daughter, who will be a teen later this year, is more interested in wildlife, natural disasters, vehicle and home repair, fashion, anatomy, genetics, and filmmaking. Thus far, she’s been happy with the available resources.

        I hope you all can get back to the wonderful feeling of trust and worth you had for her school. That’s so important!

        I’m glad you had a place to put all those thoughts swirling in your head (and I’m going to be grumbling less while writing the current batch of homeschool reports in the endless round my state requires.

        I’ll be looking forward to your less serious posts, in mo small part because that will mean your concerns have eased enough for you to focus on lightness. <3

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  • Pamela Morse February 19, 2017 at 10:30 am

    It is not obnoxious to go to the tippy top …it is only rational..it is the only way to make yourself clear. That is really a shock, and you have every right to speak up.

    • Nerd in the Brain February 19, 2017 at 7:58 pm

      I’m sure the principal would have preferred that I keep my opinions within the school (or not expressed at all), but I wanted to make sure I was heard. Perhaps obnoxious wasn’t the right word…maybe precocious or determined would be better. 🙂

  • Lisa February 19, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    I can’t imagine how scary this must have been for you. I remember when schools were a safe place, and I remember when that changed too. Last year my youngest sister, then 15, told me her school had talked to her about what to do in case a shooter came in. Just the talk and the drill alone traumatized her. She came home with the realization that if that ever did happen, there would be very little chance that EVERYONE could be saved. I felt so bad for her….A treat has to be so much worse. I am so sorry it happened, and that the school handled it so horribly. Hopefully a lesson was learned and they do better going forward.

    Before I go, just wanted to say thank you for taking over the coffee share duties. These are some of my favorite posts to write and read from others. I’m happy the community will live on here.

    • Nerd in the Brain February 19, 2017 at 8:04 pm

      I do so hope that the school (and perhaps all the schools in the district) will handle these threats differently in the future…of course, I hope even more that these sorts of threats would just stop.

      I’m so sorry that your sister was so upset by the drill. 🙁 When I was a public school teacher, the teachers had start off the year with watching this horrible video about school shootings and what to do…I always ended up feeling gross and paranoid for days afterward.

      I am so excited to be doing my part in keeping the Coffee Share community going! I was worried that people wouldn’t want to move venues, but I think things are going swimmingly so far. 😀

  • Corina February 19, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    I read this yesterday but for some reason I cannot like or comment on your blog when I am on my phone, which is bad because that’s how I read and comment on blogs about 80% of the time. I finally got to my lap top. I have had these instances, specifically with schools. One was a very positive one and the other a very negative one. I think I will write my coffee post on this in a short while. It’s a sick weekend so I am just now trying to sit up and take inventory of how I feel. But I will write it up.

    Great first coffee share as host!

    • Nerd in the Brain February 19, 2017 at 8:07 pm

      I’m sorry that my blog and your phone aren’t playing nicely together. 🙁 (I’ve noticed some odd things happening since I went self-hosted.)

      I’m so glad you shared your stories about scary school stuff! It’s nice to see an example of how well things can be handled.

      And I know I said it on your blog, but I super-hope you feel all better soon!

      Have an amazing week!

  • bettylouise31 February 19, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    My problem is minor to yours. It is hard to understand why someone wants to shoot up a school, restaurants or other places. Those in charge need to let others know when they know. Bulling can occur anywhere.. The person who is bully often doesn’t share as they feel guilty. Good Luck for the school future. Prayers for everyone to be able to handle what ever happens. Think Positive! Hugs!

    • Nerd in the Brain February 19, 2017 at 8:09 pm

      It really is hard to understand why people want to do these things. I guess some people enjoy creating chaos and fear. 🙁 Fortunately, I think the chaos and fear from this incident were fairly short lived. Things seem to have calmed down quite a bit already.

      I hope you’ve had a wonderful weekend…and have a great week!

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  • amiewrites74 February 20, 2017 at 1:57 am

    I’m so sorry that you and Grace had to experience that. I am so glad that everyone is okay. The lack of communication from the school would have me livid as well. My daughter’s middle school had an incident last year in which a group of kids had made a “hit list” threatening violence towards certain students. The list was posted on social media. The school acted swiftly, worked closely with local police and sent out multiple messages and updates to parents. The school was on lockdown for a couple days with police presence. I feel like we were given adequate information to make decisions about whether to send our kids. The incidents are hard on the students and the parents and how the school handles it makes a huge difference.

    • Nerd in the Brain February 20, 2017 at 7:22 am

      Oh, I would have so preferred the way your daughter’s school handled things. The principal at Grace’s school is falling on a “we don’t normally share information about a single student getting in trouble” excuse…well, when the single student is threatening the safety of everyone around him, I think a wee bit of a policy shift is in order. It was just all such a gross situation…I hope the school comes away from it with some new and better policies…and that the situation never comes up for us to learn what those new policies are. Grace is going to school today. I think things have calmed down substantially, but I’m guessing the teenager gossip mill will be running with a ferocity. 😉

      • amiewrites74 February 20, 2017 at 7:20 pm

        Yes the gossip mill ran here too. The school couldn’t name names when they updated us on the situation but the kids knew who was involved. I’m glad things have calmed down and I hope Grace feels comfortable. And hopefully the school takes a serious look at their protocol.

  • candidkay February 20, 2017 at 7:50 pm

    Wow. Scary. I am sure scary each morning now. We are always living in that balance between keeping our kids in bubble wrap in their bedrooms and letting them out there in the world. At least that’s how it feels sometimes. I am glad all turned out ok!

    • Nerd in the Brain February 21, 2017 at 7:52 am

      Yesterday morning was actually pretty calm and normal, so that’s good. I was glad to see that she wasn’t afraid of her school now or anything. We’re usually pretty bubble-wrap-free type parents, but when people start talking about shooting up her school, there’s not enough bubble wrap in the world, ya know? 🙂 Like you, I’m just ever-so-thankful that no one was hurt!

  • kaycreate February 22, 2017 at 9:45 am

    I am so glad that everyone is safe. That is such a terrifying situation for parents and students. And I agree, it is 100% unacceptable that NO ONE was given any information from the school. That is absolutely just NOT acceptable. I think you were correct in going straight to the super; and the fact that they weren’t informed only just goes to show a level of incompetence within this situation in my opinion. Yes, someone (the principal perhaps?) will probably be in some hot water, but it is deservedly so. Communication is such a crucial part of a parent/school relationship (well, I mean, ANY relationship really!) and it definitely sounds like there was a serious lack of it during a time when it was needed most. I hope it all gets sorted out, and that in the future nothing like it happens again (both a threat AND a lack of school communication!) I hope Grace is doing alright and not too shaken; it’s such a scary situation!

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